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Archive for October, 2006

Halloween Masks?

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Today is Halloween in the United States. It’s a day that we basically celebrate Satan and the undead, and to make it more appealing to children - we throw in some candy. Really.

People get dressed up in crazy costumes, put on makeup and are able to act like someone else - albeit only for a few hours. Everyone can get their own personality makeover and act in ways they wouldn’t normally act.

I went to a Halloween party this past weekend - to a party where I knew maybe 8 people out of the 40 that were there (I was dressed as a soccer referee). Within 3 beers (and 2 vodka jello shots), everyone was instant “friends.” Complete strangers were chumming around like they had been friends for years, girls were “dirty dancing” with each other, and people were just generally having, well, a party (Chuck and Stephanie - you guys ROCK!).

I got to thinking - was it really just the alcohol - or were we all just acting out and doing things that we “wouldn’t really do” in “real life?”

Now the interesting thing is that the host and hostess had put together a slide show that contained pictures from previous years parties. This was playing on the plasma screen in the main room where the party was held, so I actually sat down and watched it. Even though I didn’t know all the people there - I recognized them in past pictures, all in different costumes - but all the pictures had something in common - they were “real.” Real people. Real emotions. Real drunk. Real happy. Real silly.

Does wearing a costume or mask or outfit give us the permission we need to really just be ourselves? If so, what the hell happens to that part of us the rest of time?

Thought for today: Live a little - be who you really are and try it out others.

Do Not Migrate to Servoy If You Use FMP

Sunday, October 29th, 2006

I’m always getting questions from FileMaker Pro users - “Should I migrate to Servoy if I’m using FileMaker?”
In general: I tell them “NO!”
Why?
FileMaker and Servoy are two completely different animals - and they really have very little in common - other than they are tools to create interfaces to a database.
Having said that: If you have a FileMaker database that is 1+ GB in size, or you have more than 500,000 data records, or you have 25 or more users, or you want to roll out new revisions of your solution NOT after 5:00pm (or on weekends!) because you have to import your data), or you have run into stability and scalability problems (which you will if you meet either of the other criteria) - then YES, you SHOULD migrate.
You will be able to apply about 60%-80% of your FileMaker knowledge directly to Servoy (click to create a form, click to add fields, CTRL+F for finds, CTRL+N for new record, etc). The hardest part about taking on a migration are:

  • Documenting what your current solution does
  • Forgetting about the “Workaround Pro” ways of doing things
  • Trying to make things more difficult than they are (in Servoy)
  • Coming up with a migration plan

Let’s take a look at each of the issues in a little more depth:
Documenting what your solution does
In order to migrate out of FileMaker to anything else - whether it is Servoy or not - you need to have a good grasp on just what it is that your current FileMaker solution is doing. This means that you need to print out all the screens you want to migrate (in both Layout and Browse Modes) and then look at each screen to determine the fields you need to do data entry on, the fields that are calculated, and what each of the buttons does. You will also need to go through and write down all the validation rules (unique, auto-enter, lookup, etc) that you have.
Once you’ve done this - you will have a better idea on what you will need to migrate and how big of a job it is going to be. If you’re like most FileMaker developers - your solution has grown “organically” over the years (READ: no spec, no documentation, worked on by 15 different people - all with different levels of skill). If this description fits - then it is ESPECIALLY critical that you go through the documentation stage! If you don’t you’ll be sorry. Trust me.

Forgetting about the “Workaround Pro” ways of doing things
Because FileMaker doesn’t have any events, and you can only trigger actions based on buttons - you have get *really* “creative” with scripts, calcs, container fields, etc. to make your interface “look like” it’s interactive. Let me just ask you this: How many global repeating container fields with a calc and self-join do you have in order to make a “button” appeared to be dimmed out? If you know what I’m talking about - then you will have a *harder* time migrating to Servoy than someone who doesn’t.
Why?
Well, that means that you’re a “workaround expert” - and you have trained your mind at trying to look at the most convoluted way possible to achieve what SHOULD BE “easy” tasks. This “thinking” is probably going to be the biggest change for you in working with Servoy. In Servoy, you can just say: elements.myButton.enabled = false. This will make a button appear to be “dimmed”. Likewise: elements.myButton.enabled = true. This makes a button appear to be active.
No global repeating containers. No “pictures” of buttons. No relations and calc needed.

Trying to make things more difficult than they are (in Servoy)
In Servoy you can sort related data by saying: relationshipName.sort(”field1, field2, field3″). You simply pass the function a list of fields to sort by - and you’re done. You can build the list dynamically, store it in a variable (like a “global” field, but it’s not a column in your table!) - and then use that. You can really “show” and “hide” objects, portals, fields, labels, tab panels, etc. You can dynamically change the location of all those objects, programmatically at runtime. You don’t have to use tricks. You don’t need to make a “constant” self-join to show all records. You don’t need to remember what the hell “table occurrence” to use, or what “context” you have to use to run calculations in, you don’t have to buy a plotter to print out your relationship “graph”, etc.
In short, you’re your own worst enemy. Servoy does things in a simple, straight-forward way. Sometimes learning that causes frustration because the way you’re “used to” doing things simply won’t work in Servoy. Easy = good. Simple = good. Servoy = good.

Coming up with a migration plan
Once you have your documentation of your existing solution done (DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP!) - you can then create a reasonable plan for creating a data model; planning what screens and reports will “make it” into the new solution; looking at all the value lists, relationships and fields to make a list of “common” elements; decide on an overall look and feel for the application; etc.
Once you’re at this point - then you need to BUILD A SCREEN OR TWO in Servoy. Get used to the tool so you have a better idea of how it works. You’ll discover because you have events in Servoy, and very power control over all your interface objects - you can build the type of application that you can only “dream” about using anything else.
PLUS, you data will be in SQL. Any SQL database you want. No more being “slow.” No more waiting. No more coffee cup icons. No more importing into clones. No more recovery. In short - no more bullshit.
I’m working on a new white paper that will go into more details. If you would be interested in getting a copy when it’s done - drop me an email with you name, company and email address with the subject line beginning with: [WHITEPAPER]. I’ll email it to you when I’m done.

Thought for the day: Migration may be painful, but staying with a f**ked up system is WORSE!

Bubble 2.0

Saturday, October 28th, 2006

I’ve been hearing and reading a lot about “Web 2.0″ - and “Life 2.0″ and all the hype about SaaS (Software as a Service), SOA (Service Oriented Architecture) etc. The more I look at it - the more it sounds like the same old concepts with a slightly new twist.

SaaS - used to be called ASP (Application Service Provider), SOA used to be called “web services”, and Web 2.0 used to be called… ummm… web applications.

So what the hell?

I would submit that we’re in a time that is much like the previous “dot com” bubble of 1999-2001. I’ll call this “Bubble 2.0″ - for lack of a better term.

This Bubble 2.0 claims to be the new and improved bubble - it’s got a new name, and it’s been cleaned up a little since 2000 - but it still has most of the cool features of the previous version: companies paying crazy prices for questionable businesses with no real profits (eBay purchase of Skype for $2.5 Billion, Google purchase of YouTube for $1.6 billion), companies with huge valuations compared with profits (Google at $425 per share, MySpace valuation at $10 billion), crazy sites popping up like mushrooms trying to be the “next big thing”, etc.

Ahhhhh the good old days.

I mean “Web 2.0″…. I mean “New Economy”…. I mean “Web Economy”… I mean “same crap different year”…

This time the technology is a little better (Ajax is very cool - if you like being tied to a browser), the companies at least have some plans to be profitable at some point, but really, other than that - the concepts that are being floated are actually going BACKWARD.

I’m reading these “cutting edge” articles on how everywhere always connected lifestyles mean that we should have a “virtual” computer that would store our apps and data online so we can access it from any computer (or handheld, or watch phone, or iPod, or whatever).

I’ve seen this movie before. It’s called “mainframes and dumb terminals.”

The good news is - since everything old is becoming new again - I will make my own bold prediction: people will eschew the complexity of a graphical user interface, and will prefer a much easier method of input: typing. This will solve lots of problem - as people of all ages can be taught how to type, and without a pesky mouse or icons or windows - people won’t get confused. There are 12 function keys - so there can only be 12 choices at once.

Now if I can only find my 5.5 inch, 125kb diskette with Apple Basic on it…

Sometimes Customers SUCK

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

I’ve been in the software consulting and packed programs business for over 20 years now - and sometimes it still just pisses me off to no end when I have to cross paths with pathetic “people” that happen to buy my services/software.
Let me be clear - in the main - I generally LOVE customers. They keep business going, most of them are downright pleasant, and some are really just a pleasure to know as people. Then there are the very few (thankfully!) that are just a waste of space. I call them the “consumers.”
These are people that, no matter what, expect the world and every product and service, every computer, every OS, every piece of software, every phone system - basically everything - to work exactly the way THEY think it should.
100% of the time. No exceptions.
These people make gross assumptions (and LOUDLY) based on their ignorance - usually in very public ways. They take a position that is totally un-informed or just plain stupid and then bitch about it. They rarely bother to experiment, try things, or even worse - RTFM (Read The Fu**ing Manual).
They are experts at using inflammatory and sarcastic language and usually always blame the software or hardware or OS or the dev team or _________ (fill in the blank) for things that they don’t understand. 99% of the time it is their own fault something doesn’t work, or didn’t work - but they are the first ones to flame lists, report “terrible bugs” in the underlying software (or software solution).
Then, when someone helps them - and fixes their problem, or points out where to look in the manual, or gives them sample code - they STILL BITCH ABOUT IT. Rather than saying “Thanks for your help” - they say things like “…well, the program shouldn’t allow me to make that mistake…” or “…I don’t know how ANYONE would be think of that…”, etc.
But it doesn’t stop there. These are also the same exact people who will try to “grind” you on price, expect instant answering of all email, get pissed off when they can’t reach someone on the phone the instant they call, and often have their credit cards declined (or are slow to pay).
Sometimes they go even further - and will kindly send an email notifying you of the 26 misplaced semi-colons and passive verbs in your documentation - and they will always find 5-10 tiny, tiny inconsistencies in manual screen shots or online tutorials and then will proceed to say that a company is “unprofessional” for “serious omissions in functionality”, etc. etc.
Luckily, I have dealt with this type of person enough in my career to recognize that for these people change is painful. So, I gently remind them that any kind of change can be difficult and learning new things takes time and effort and a bit of frustration. If that doesn’t work - I to do one of three things:

  1. If they are a profitable customer - let someone else assist them - someone with a lot higher sh*t tolerance than I do; OR
  2. Suggest they continue to use whatever it is they are currently using - since making the change to something new is obviously too difficult for them; OR
  3. “Fire” them as a customer.

Sometimes just saying “Sorry, we really don’t want your business” is the best way to go. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I can usually feel my blood pressure drop and my urge to go home, kick the dog and drink heavily magically disappears.
OK, so maybe not the drinking part…

Gates 2.0

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

So Bill Gates is leaving Microsoft in July 2008… is the sky falling? What do you think?

Bill has had his share of battles - and wins: IBM in the 80’s, Sun and Netscape in 90’s, and now it’s the Linux and Open Source crowd. While the MS jury is still out on the Linux and Open Source crowd - Bill already has Steve Ballmer to be the front man on that battleground.

If I were the richest man on earth - what would I want to do… hmmmm… let’s see:

a) The same crap I’ve been doing for the last 30 years and being vilified for “embracing and extending” others’ technology
OR

b) Giving away billions of dollars to the poor, being “bullet proof” from snarky criticism, and being loved and appreciated by millions

I don’t know about you - but I’m picking B for sure. Now that he’s 50, maybe he’s thinking about “Bill 2.0″ and what type of legacy he wants to leave rather than just creating (or “embracing and extending”) the “next big thing.” I’ve got to imagine it’s got a certain amount of “been there, done that” to it. I would imagine that trying to decide where to dole out hundreds of millions in interest (their foundation is endowed with over $29 BILLION) has got to be a whole lot more fun.

Whether you love him, hate him, or don’t care - you gotta’ admit - it’s really hard to criticize and dislike someone who give away money. LOTS of money.

I, for one say - GOOD ON YA, Bill!

P.S. If you like this blog - I would be happy to take some of that filthy money off your hands…

I’m A Mac and I’m A PC

Monday, October 23rd, 2006

I don’t know whether you’ve seen the new Apple ads (if you haven’t - you’ve been in a cave somewhere - or at least not watching any prime time TV) - but they feature two guys - one that’s a Mac (”I’m a Mac”) and another guy (in a suit) - “I’m a PC.”
I’ll leave you to view the ads yourself - but the basic gist is that the Mac guy (twenty something in jeans - who apparently is unable to grow real facial hair) is politely disrespecting the PC guy. For example, in one ad the PC guy stops mid-sentence (he had to “restart”) and the punch line is the Mac guy saying “…I’m going to get IT - keep an eye on him…”
Gotta’ love Chiat-Day!
It’s funny that Apple is still poking fun at Windows - given the fact that once they ported iTunes to the PC (announced with an ad campaign with the headline “Hell Froze Over”) - they finally gained the market share that has allowed them dominance in the downloaded music market. Until then, they weren’t able to break the 10 million mark in downloads (now at over 1/2 BILLION downloads).
Then, they scrapped the PowerPC chip - in favor of the dual core processor made by… wait for it… INTEL (I guess since hell was already frozen over - it didn’t matter).
NOW, they have even released a beta of a piece of software called BootCamp. BootCamp will allow Mac users with the new Intel chip “dual boot” their computers. That means they can startup their Mac and run Windows as the operating system! There are even hackers out there that are working on free software that will allow a triple boot - adding the ability to boot Linux as well.
There’s even a company who makes PC virtualization software (Parallels) - that allows Mac users to boot up in OS X and then open a separate process to run Windows. In fact, Servoy’s CEO, Jan Aleman used this in demos last week - and it works! It works so well, that he was able to create a Servoy solution on the “Mac side” and deploy it in a client on the “PC side” - on a single machine.
Now THAT’s cool!
I’ve had a love-like-hate-like-hate relationship with the Mac since it first came out in 1984. I’ve had many Macs (ONLY Macs in the early days) and more recently, many PCs. I’ve used “Virtual PC” in the old days (when a 1GB hard drive and 2MB of RAM was the upper limits of computing); I’ve used 386, 486, Pentium PCs; I’ve used Newtons, Palm Pilots, etc.
At the end of the day, the best technology is the one that works the best for you. Or, in my case, the hardware/OS combination that most of my customers use - and that’s PC/Windows by FAR.
Although, I must admit, having the ability to run BOTH OSes on a single box is really, really appealing. As long as it really WORKS. In this case, that seems to be the case.
I’m torn between loving the Mac (UI, seamless connection, ease-of-use) and hating it (constant OS updates, crappy Java VM, limited software titles) and loving my Windows machine (most customers use it, loads of current software, great Java VM) and hating it (constant virus updates and OS patches, hit-and-miss peripheral integration, “registry hell”).
I guess I’m a little bit Mac and a little bit PC at heart.
Maybe my next notebook will be a MacBook…

Why Invent? Just SUE!

Saturday, October 21st, 2006

With the latest news about yet another company trying to sue RIM (makers of the BlackBerry handheld) - I’ve just about had it.

Just as RIM (Research In Motion) settled with NPT (a patent holding company that has no products other than lawsuits) for more than $600 million (yep - over 1/2 BILLION dollars!) on patents that the US Patent & Copyright Office had invalidate (or was just about to) - up steps a company called Visto.

You see - Visto just successfully sued another company called Seven Networks and won a $3.6 million verdict in Texas - for violations of intellectual property on some patents they own having to do with wireless email.

Hell, Visto even filed against Microsoft on December 15, alleging that Microsoft’s Windows Mobile 5.0 operating system also infringed on its patents! Nice. Suing Microsoft. Good idea. I’m “sure” you’ll win. No problem.

Even if they don’t win - just the thought of RIM going through yet another lawsuit ordeal - has some corporate users searching for alternatives.

And, it just so happens, that Nokia is coming out with it’s own wireless device with a keyboard that does what the BlackBerry does. Hmmmmm…. make you think.

What I find even more crazy - is the fact that NTP holds a stake in Visto as well! Talk about double-dipping! Gotta’ just love the “hey, if it worked once, it can work again” mentality of lawsuits. This is literally their business model.

Hijacking for dollars. God, it’s GREAT to be an American!